Why I haven’t been using social media or art communities
It’s been awhile since I stopped being as active on social media and comic art communities. It’s not because I’ve been struggling with my mental health—quite the opposite! I haven’t felt the need to seek validation from the internet the way I used to because I’ve been chilling with my real homies lately. We’re goofing off, having fun, sharing our projects and stories with each other, and being honest about what we’re feeling. In contrast, being active on forums, social media, and chatrooms felt like talking to the air with the hope that someone would witness it and give me some of that precious Validation.
Posting on social media felt a lot like gambling, and it was addictive in the same way because I never knew what I was gonna get. Sometimes I’d get rave reviews of my thoughts and art, other times I’d get lukewarm responses, and occasionally I’d get negative feedback. A lot of the time, it was silence. I kept posting and posting to get that rush of positive attention, that rave review. I was chasing the dragon. It was hard to stop because I was desperate to connect with people, even if that connection was not genuine or meaningful. Now that I have true friendship, I don’t feel like I have to farm positive affirmations from people I don’t know or trust. Funny how that works.
I had to cope with a lot of interpersonal drama, flame wars, and gossip when I was still active in communities and I don’t have the energy to deal with it anymore. The social media rat race is overwhelming and I need to step back. I work a full time job, I’m 32 years old, and my free time becomes more precious with every day that passes. I have to ration my time by removing anything that takes me away from my hobbies and the enjoyment of my life overall. One of those things was regular social media activity. I also cut off people who only came around to complain or gossip, didn’t reciprocate my energy, or were taking advantage of me. I don’t regret it and I feel a lot lighter now.
My second comic is deep in production and I will begin posting it publicly in the foreseeable future. Considering how gratuitously gross and sexual it is, working on it without the public breathing down my neck has been a treat. I will unleash it upon the world when I’m good and ready.
When you’re deep in a situation, especially when it’s unpleasant, it tends to color your worldview and make you think that the entire planet is the same as what you’re dealing with. People who are constantly interacting with social media tend to lose touch with what matters and argue over problems that have no basis in reality; this issue has been cropping up more and more lately. Life doesn’t have to be like this, however. When you turn off the noise and chaos blasting from apps on your phone and computer, everything becomes peaceful. It’s easier to think clearly and appreciate the small details of life, like the way your dog’s scalp wrinkles between the ears, how the sunlight slants across the room from the front window, the feeling of wind in your hair. You can sit down and create projects that are true to your vision instead of making tidbits that don’t fulfill you in a bid to appeal to an algorithm.
Away from the war zone of Xitter is my garden of unearthly delights. Come sit with me a spell and I’ll show you my favorite things.